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So I blinked and another month went by. Actually more than a month. Rosie turned 4 months on May 10. I’m just getting around to blogging about it now after a month hiatus from posting. It wasn’t intentional to take that much time away from the blog but holy crap the last 6 weeks have just absolutely flown by. And not really in a good way. Being back to work and being so busy makes time go by so fast. I try to stop and take everything in and enjoy these sweet baby moments with my girl. But the time keeps racing by.

The past month or so has been a bit stressful, if I’m being honest. Going back to work this time around might be even harder than the first. Going back right away I totally felt like “I got this”.  I had done the whole back to work after baby thing once before and I knew I’d be ok. And it was ok. It wasn’t awesome, but it was ok. I missed my baby of course…but what I wasn’t expecting was the awful mom brain that took over and the total sleep deprivation that I experienced (well and still have). I would be sitting in meetings and looking around willing myself to concentrate on what my colleagues were saying and my mind just felt foggy. It was hard to pay attention. And then I would think to myself, “what’s going on? Am I stupid? Why does it seem like everyone else is getting it and I have no clue what is going on?” Man, I was tired. Well and I still am. I think I’ve said that twice now. Yup, I’m damn tired.

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But Rosie…oh my sweet Rosie…she is just so wonderful. She is my little dream baby and I don’t for one second take for granted how lucky I am to have her. She smiles so much, like 1,000 times a day. She smiles for photos. It’s so fun. She coos and squeals and makes me so happy. She loves breastfeeding. She smiles so big for her big sister, Juliet. Seeing those two together literally make my life.

One huge challenge we unfortunately have is that Rosie doesn’t take a bottle. Ok, so she sometimes takes a bottle. But at the most we are talking 3ish ounces a day. We waste a lot of precious breastmilk around here and my mom (who takes care of her everyday) works with her all day long on the bottle. Sometimes it can take upwards of two hours to get Rosie to drink a couple ounces. I get the play by play via text while I’m at work and my heart races and my anxiety is through the roof. Why won’t she just eat?! She must be hungry! I worry all day long about my girl. I’m so thankful for every minute that my mom takes care of her. Because she’s the kind of grandma that has all the patience in the world and is loving and sweet to my baby and holds her for naps. Rosie also is not a great napper and definitely not a big fan of the crib.

So yeah…the not drinking bottles and not napping well are a bit challenging. It’s not all roses with Rosie. She makes up for not eating during the day while I’m at work by waking up a lot at night to eat. And or course I will feed her 1,000 times a night if she wants to because I worry about her not gaining enough weight. She was a good weight at her 4 month appointment though so she seems to still be gaining weight despite barely eating all day.  She eats most of her calories at night (this explains my total sleep deprivation).

But honestly, I get home from work and feed her right away and see her big smile and all those challenges go right out the window and I am seriously in baby bliss with her.

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I mean…look at her, she is just so adorable and yummy. I love her so.

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Rosie is still in our room at night, mostly in bed right beside me. It makes it easier to feed her all night long. I think she’ll probably be in our room for a while longer. By 5 months Juliet was already sleeping well in her crib. Each baby really is so different.

I’ve posted a bunch of times about Rosie’s bottle issues on Instagram and have gotten some good ideas. But trust me we’ve tried so many things. Different bottles and nipples. Different positions. Sleeping and awake. Distracted and cuddled close. Fresh milk and frozen milk (it’s not a lipase issue, I’ve tasted it). When she’s hungry and when she’s not too hungry. The one thing we try to be consistent with is to stop trying with the bottle as soon as she seems upset. Usually she just plays with the nipple and chews on it. She doesn’t get too upset or frantic about being given a bottle (like I’ve heard some babies do) but she rarely will latch and drink. And I want her to soo badly. I want her belly to be nice and full and happy while I’m at work. Plus I have like 600 ounces of frozen milk for her in my freezer that just keeps building up. So yeah…we are working through some big challenges here. But enough of that.

Other fun things about Rosie’s 4th month include:

- Giggles and laughing (the sweetest sound!)

- More hair and it still sticks straight up and we love it so much

- Grabbing and holding toys

- Loving bath time with her big sister

I know this post has been a bit all over the board. I know I’ve shared some challenges we’ve had but most importantly over everything, I love this girl so, so much. And I love having two kiddos. Two girls. My girls. How did I ever get so lucky?

Happy 4 months my sweet Rosie-girl! Now please take a bottle :)